


Sam Adds to his Trauma

by Halcyonians



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Castiel and Dean are Dumbasses, Dean Winchester Swears, Emotional Castiel, Emotional Constipation, First Kiss, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Just so much fucking angst, M/M, Sam Winchester Swears, Sam is not a Pervert, Sam is traumatized, Sam’s POV, Sharing a Bed, all the feelings, just curious, some non-descriptive smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24762064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyonians/pseuds/Halcyonians
Summary: Dean and Castiel are in some kind of fight, and Sam has no idea why. All he knows is the they’ve been making him miserable. After a hunt filled with tension, Sam tries to get to the bottom of their falling out by listening to a late night conversation.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	Sam Adds to his Trauma

“That was one nasty Wendigo,” Dean chuckled pointedly to Sam, as he and Castiel climbed back into the Impala. Sam gave a grunt in response, squeezing into the passenger side of the car. Finally, they were out of that goddamn woods. All three men were dirty and tired. The tricky bastard’s hideout had been near impossible to find, and the creature had put up a miraculous fight when they had confronted it. The damned thing had been taking out anyone who dared enter its self proclaimed territory, and for the past week, the three men had had to camp out in the desolate woods to try to kill the thing.  
Although the hunt was successful and they had saved a family, it still had been a horrible week. Sam personally wouldn't have minded the camping and hunting if it hadn’t been for the close proximity to Cas and Dean that it required. Due to what Sam assumed was some fight between the two, they hadn’t talked at all during the hunt unless absolutely necessary. They were making each other miserable and by extension, making Sam such too. The tension could be cut by a knife, and honestly, it was giving Sam a headache.  
“Sammy? Are you even listening to me?” Dean prodded him in the shoulder as he turned off the dirt road out of the forest.  
“What?”  
“Jesus, do we need to get your hearing checked? I was saying that since we’re at least a day’s drive from the bunker, I was going to stop at a motel once it gets dark.”  
“Yeah, whatever, man.” Sam dismissed. Since Dean hadn’t been talking with Castiel, He’d become obnoxiously more chatty with Sam, probably just to annoy Cas. The car then set into an awkward silence as Cas stared blankly out the window and Dean pretended to focus way too much on the road. He really didn’t understand what their problem was. Cas had wanted to hunt with the boys, so Sam had agreed - an angel can always come in handy, even if said angel was socially inept - and more importantly, they both enjoyed Castiel’s company. Dean had also seemed to be in some sort of slump since the last time Castiel had left to do ‘Angel Stuff’, so Sam had thought that having his friend tag along on some hunts would put him in better spirits. Boy, he was wrong. When Sam broke the news to Dean, he became even more irritable and upset, not even looking in his supposed best friend’s eyes. It was really fucking frustrating to not know what was wrong.  
The silence in the car became more and more unbearable as the two ignored each other to the point that Sam felt a need to flick on some music to drown out the pressure, and for a good while, classic rock was the only sound. The music seemed to put Dean even more on edge though, gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white, not even singing along to the songs he usually forced Sam to enjoy with him. Castiel remained emotionless, face controlled to a calm neutral. Despite the music, the hours in the car passed on miserably.  
“What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Sam asked, finally breaking the silence. He couldn’t live like this. These were the two people he was closest to in the world, and being around them was making Sam even more depressed than usual.  
“Nothing, Sam,” Castiel responded flatly. Sam almost felt like he detected… defeat in those words? Sam sighed.  
“Come on, you don’t seriously think I’ll believe that-” Sam was cut off as Dean gruffly stated,  
“We’re here,” pulling the Impala off the highway and into a parking lot belonging to a run down motel, Dean almost ran out of the car to reception. Sam attempted to press as to what the conflict was but Cas simply stared out of his window at nothing, ignoring Sam. Minutes later, Dean stomped back out. If steam could have poured out of his ears, it would. Dean slammed the door of Baby and simply cussed.  
“Is there no vacancy? The sign says there should be?” Sam questioned, wondering how Dean had become even more upset.  
“Fuck, this is like every cheesy porn I’ve seen. The only vacancy they have is two beds,” he smiled incredulously, no humor flitting in his green eyes. Why did his mind go there? The necessity of sleep had long overruled personal space, and Dean had never minded before.  
“Well, that shouldn’t be an issue… Cas doesn’t sleep anyway…” Sam reasoned before Castiel finally spoke up.  
“Ever since I regained my grace a few years ago, I’ve noticed my body has retained some… human qualities, such as the need to sleep,” Cas stated. Sam wasn’t quite sure he believed him. “I haven’t slept all week to watch over you two, and since my vessel is now in the habit of rest, I get quite exhausted if I don’t get sleep.” How Dean had already known this, Sam wasn't sure, but oh well. If the angel wanted to sleep, who was Sam to stop him? But then there was the situation of the beds… This really was the start to some cheesy porn.  
“ I can sleep on the floor if you guys want-” Sam offered, but Dean shut him down as quickly as he said it.  
“No, I’ll do it,” he grumbled. “What kind of brother lets his baby bro sleep on the floor?” So it was decided. Sam, who was internally relieved to not have to lay his aching muscles on the hard cheap rugs motels seemed to have in excess, would get one bed and Cas would get the other. Seemed like the second best solution to all the angsty woes between those two other than them actually making up.  
However, when they opened the door to their room, they realized it wasn’t that simple. The room was absolutely tiny. The two full beds were pushed up against opposite walls, but there was still only space for a tiny night stand between the two.  
“Shit,” Dean swore. It was clear that sleeping on the floor wasn’t going to be an option.  
“Are you sure there aren’t any more rooms?” Sam asked.  
“Positive. Some stupid family reunion is in town.” Dean borderline growled. He cursed repeatedly. Sam wasn’t sure why Dean was so worked up. Sharing a bed wasn’t anything but a necessity at this point. Sam would have offered to share but due to his wide frame and restless sleeping, it was impossible to do in a full sized bed. Plus, weren’t the two of them at least somewhat in a relationship? Sam sighed.  
“Just get over yourselves, guys. It’s one night.” Both men seemed incredibly uncomfortable at the statement.  
Dinner was torture as expected, but at least it was real baked food and not hotdogs for the fifth time that week, so that was a plus. The two of them ate in silence, with Cas looking out the window away from them. Sam couldn’t quite tell if the quiet was because of Dean’s appreciation of the food or the fact that the physical tension between Dean and Cas was enough of a conversation in itself.  
“So are you guys going to work out your issues, or what?” Sam questioned again, breaking up the stillness at the table. Cas opened his mouth to speak, but Dean cut him off.  
“No. I never fucking will. This is none of your business, Sam.” Dean snapped at his brother. Sam had to admit, it hurt. So, he disappointedly left it at that. For the rest of that miserable dinner, Sam just pretended to be utterly enwrapped in his mediocre salad to take his mind off the two of them. They were making him depressed as hell.  
Upon the boy’s return to the room, the Winchesters went on with their nightly routines as Cas stood awkwardly, waiting to sleep. Now that Sam really looked at him, it was clear that Castiel was exhausted. His blue eyes were blurred and bags sagged under his eyes. His entire body was supported by the wall. He actually looked like shit. Sam was almost sorry for him until he remembered this was an immortal being. If he could break the habit of sleep, why didn’t he? Who knew why the angel did what he did.  
A few minutes later, Sam was in bed watching the struggle between the two men play out. The bed was obviously not intended for two large men and Dean was very loudly harrumphing as he tried to keep aloof as Cas’ shoulders touched him and attempted with all his might to keep distance between the two of them. It was fruitless. Cas showed no emotion and resigned to staring at the ceiling as Dean struggled next to him. If the whole situation hadn’t been so pathetic, Sam might have laughed at the scene playing out in front of him, but he kept his face neutral, closing his eyes. Damn, this mattress was a rock. So much for a good night’s sleep. However, Sam was so tired that he doubted it would matter. He just needed some rest.  
Dean finally somewhat settled next to Cas, and Sam shut off the light. The darkness was welcoming and Sam could feel himself lulled by the peace and quiet. Minutes passed of silence and Sam was just seconds away from drifting off when suddenly, Cas’ voice pierced through the darkness.  
“Dean, I just wanted to say… I’m sorry,” Cas’ voice was awash in built up emotion. “It wasn’t fair of me to-” Dean cut him off.  
“Shush, Sam could still be awake. We aren't talking about this. Not now, not ever. I’d appreciate it if you just left me and Sammy alone.” There was silence then. Any hint of tiredness left Sam. Curiosity had gotten the best of him. He needed to know what this was all about. To hell with privacy. Thankfully, Sam was more than studied in the art of fake sleep. When he was a kid, Dean and his dad had kept hard conversations after Sam’s bedtime, but determined to keep up with the two of them, he would have to convincingly feign sleep. So now, he did just that. He made a small snore, just enough so that the both of them would think he was out. In response to this affirmation, Castiel spoke again.  
“Just let me say it. I can’t go on like this forever. You can’t go on like this forever. Even Sam can’t. Please.” Cas pleaded. Each word was so full of emotion and out of character for his normal aloofness that Sam’s heart wrenched. What was happening? What had happened?  
“There’s nothing to say. You went and fucked up a perfectly good friendship, and then ran. God dammit Cas, This isn’t some little thing.” Dean’s voice was ice. The room fell silent again.  
“Please, Dean, just listen. I misread that situation. I’m sorry for crossing that line.” Dean let out the smallest of objections before Cas went on in a quiet voice. “It was one kiss. Nothing more. Just say you'll forgive me.” Sam stopped himself before he could gasp. There WAS something going on between the two of them. Not like it wasn’t obvious - it was hard to not notice the longing looks Dean gave Castiel when he thought no one was looking and how Castiel seemed to always be at most ease when Dean was around. Those absolute dumbasses. Sam wanted to scream at Dean for tearing Cas’ heart out with his rejection.  
“I-I can't- I can’t. You did this. Now I don’t even know anything anymore.” Dean’s voice broke. Sam suddenly felt uncomfortable. He shouldn’t be hearing this. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep, and forget his big brother’s turmoil. But try as he might, sleep wouldn’t come as an uneasy silence swept around the room again.  
“I’m sorry Dean. It was wrong-” Cas began before being cut off.  
“That’s the problem… It- It didn’t feel wrong. We’re friends - and hell, I don’t swing that way… but it felt so -” Dean paused, sucking in a deep breath. “-so right.” Sam was utterly fucked. He was a trapped animal in the growing sexual tension in the room. Cas was quiet, looking to the ceiling in contemplation. Sam wished he was in the Cage, Purgatory, anywhere but here would be better. “These weeks have been torture. I’m not gay. Hell, do you know how large of a porn collection I own? But-” Dean was cut off as Castiel placed a gentle kiss on his lips, effectively shutting him up. Shit, shit, shit, shit. This was their moment. It was supposed to be private. If Sam tried to leave, Dean would crawl back into his shell. If he didn’t, he was going to have to hear whatever came next. Sam didn’t know what was worse, miserable Dean or Sam being stuck in a room with the two of them working their feelings out for each other. He was utterly stuck. He felt like a pervert. He should have just gone to sleep. Crap.  
Dean physically shivered as the two’s lips broke. For a mere second the two just seemed to just look at each other. Then it happened. The kiss began again, more ravenous as boundaries must have been stripped away. Sam tried to shut his eyes, but it only made it worse. The sounds of mouths sounded more and more like other noises, and that thought made Sam want to lose his soul again. Upon reluctantly opening his eyes, he was met with his brother on top of his friend, the two of them seemingly unable to break free of one another. Plus, Dean’s shirt was off. When had that happened? However, suddenly, Dean toppled off of Cas.  
“Fuck, what am I doing?” he panted.  
“You are attracted to me and I am to you. We are acting on that now that you have realized such.” Castiel answered matter of factly. Dean chuckled.  
“What the hell, man. No, but really, what are we doing? Just casually making out with my brother in the same room?”  
“He’s asleep. Humans seldom remember or hear anything in their sleep. Sam will have no recollection of what occurs in this room as long as he is asleep.” Oh, if only that were true. Sam was sure that he was never going to be able to forget. In a voice of fake innocence, Sam heard words he’d hope he would never hear in the presence of his brother. “I believe the usual course of action at this point is some sort of sexual act.” Dean coughed. Sam was sure he must have been blushing.  
“Dude, aren’t you like, junkless?” Dean asked, his lack of objection hanging in the air. Sam felt numb. He wanted to disappear. Alas, he was here, listening to his brother talking about angel dicks. In response to Dean’s question, Sam thought he saw Cas grab Dean’s hand and bring it to his crotch. Yes, that’s exactly what he did, judging from the look on Dean’s face. Dean didn’t take his hand away. Blankets shuffled as Dean began to pull Cas’ boxers down to assumably see the angel's dick in all its glory. Castiel groaned as Dean did such. The angel then pulled his sleep shirt from over his head, now bucknaked on the bed, laid out like a feast. Sam was beginning to think that death sounded pretty nice. The two began to make out again, moans muffled into each others’ mouths. Cas was pulling down Dean’s boxers as the two shuffled until Castiel was straddled on top of Dean’s naval. Sam had an all too clear of a view of this all, blankets strewn on the floor with the previously discarded clothes. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing good thoughts of puppies and ghost hunting and anything but his brother fucking an angel not 5 feet away.  
“Oh, Cas-” Dean began, so drunk in love he seemed to forget to be quiet. He was silenced by his own lustful moan. The two men ground against each other as though there was nothing other than the two of them in the world. This couldn’t go on much longer. Sam was sure of it. But it did. The two explored each other’s bodies with no hesitation, Dean’s previous qualms completely gone.  
Sam wasn’t sure how exactly it ended, he’d used every ounce of his willpower to block it out, but soon, the room was silent again, save for the panting coming from the next bed over. Several minutes passed quietly.  
“Dean, I meant it then and I mean it now, but I love you.” Cas whispered. Dean’s only response was laying his head on Cas’ shoulder. It was all that needed to be said. Finally, in the peaceful quiet, Sam was able to drift off to sleep. Thank God.  
“Rise and shine, Sammy!” Dean roughly shook Sam’s shoulders. His words seemed airier, as though they weren’t as burdened. Oh, right. Last night. Sam groaned in response as Dean threatened to throw a glass of water at him. He opened his eyes. Dean gave him a lopsided grin. “Jesus, Sam, it’s nearly ten! You haven’t slept this late in… forever! And you’re still tired? Damn, I guess you are getting old.” Cas was sitting on the side of the bed, and he gave a smirk at Dean’s crack at Sam. If Sam hadn’t regrettably heard what had happened last night, he might have just about thought they were hexed. Sam really wanted to be upset with Dean and Cas for keeping him up all night, but he found himself unable. The two of them just seemed so damn happy. Sitting up on his elbows, he groaned.  
“Wow, you two seem happy…” Sam said, hoping to sound as oblivious as possible. He hoped he would fool them. He hoped he could fool himself honestly. No matter how happy the two of them were, it didn’t take away the trauma of last night.  
“We realized our fight was dumb.” Cas stated, giving Dean a knowing smile. To Sam’s surprise, Dean returned it, affection shining in his eyes. The dumbasses thought they were so secretive. Even though Sam was still exhausted, his heart warmed, basking in their pure happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Congrats for making it to the end... This is my first time writing for fun in ~four years and my first time writing fanfic not related to warrior cats (really exposing myself here lol) Also, first time attempting to write anything sexy (not including cats) so I’m sorry because I know the smut sucked. Thanks again for reading and leave a kudos if you are inclined to do so!


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